🌿 Listening Turns: A Simple Practice That Changes Everything

Birds listen to each other constantly.

A gentle guide from Wild Nature Reiki & Somatic Touch Practice

Most of us grow up without learning how to truly listen — or how to be truly heard. We learn how to give advice, how to fix, how to respond, how to fill silence… but very few of us learn how to sit with someone in their truth while staying grounded in our own body.

That’s where Listening Turns come in.This practice is inspired by the lineage of Betty Martin and the Wheel of Consent, whose work has shaped much of modern consent culture and has deeply influenced my own healing practice.

Listening Turns create a container where two people take turns being fully heard without interruption, pressure, or emotional labor. They feel like a deep exhale for the nervous system — a place where honesty becomes easier and connection feels safer.

🌱 What Are Listening Turns?

Listening Turns are a structured, time-bound practice where two people take turns sharing while the other listens with presence.

Each person gets:

• 10 minutes to share (you can adjust, but 10 minutes each is a sweet spot)

• A designated listener who is grounded, quiet, and not trying to fix anything

• The ability to ask for the kind of listening they want

• The option for the listener to set limits about what topics they are open to hearing

• A few minutes afterward for reflections or gentle questions (only if wanted)

It’s profoundly simple. And profoundly healing.

🌿 Why Listening Turns Work

Listening Turns work because they give your nervous system something it rarely gets:attuned attention without demand.

When someone holds space for you without trying to fix you, analyze you, or direct you, your body gets to soften. You get to feel the truth of your experience without editing yourself to take care of someone else.

This is co-regulation.This is relational healing.This is consent in action.

For many people, Listening Turns become the first place in their life where they feel emotionally safe.

🌙 The Role of Consent in Listening Turns

Consent isn’t just for touch — it’s for communication, too.

In Listening Turns:

• The listener gets to set limits on what they’re available to hear(example: “I can hear about your emotions, but not stories about your ex tonight.”)

• The sharer gets to choose what kind of listening they want(example: “I’d like you to just listen quietly.” or “Soft questions are welcome.”)

Both people stay within their window of tolerance.No one sacrifices themselves to provide support.No one pushes past what the other can handle.

Instead, the turn becomes a shared agreement — two nervous systems meeting in clarity and kindness.

🌊 What a Listening Turn Looks Like

Here’s a simple flow:

1. Decide who shares first.

Flip a coin or choose intuitively.

2. Set the container.

Each person names:

• What kind of listening support they’d like

• Any topics they prefer not to hear

3. Start the timer.

The sharer begins.The listener stays quiet, grounded, attuned.

4. Switch roles.

Repeat the container-setting process before the second turn.

5. Optional closing.

After both people have shared:

• Ask: “Would you like reflections, questions, or silence?”

• Offer only what is wanted

• Close with gratitude

🌾 What People Commonly Share About Listening Turns

• “I didn’t know it could feel this safe to talk.”

• “I feel calmer than when we started.”

• “It’s such a relief not to have to fix anyone.”

• “I understand myself better.”

• “I feel closer to you without feeling overwhelmed.”

Listening Turns aren’t therapy — they’re a relational skill.A way of being with each other that nourishes instead of drains.

🌄 Why I Teach This Practice at Wild Nature Reiki

Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent teaches us that clarity, sovereignty, and generosity all arise from understanding who something is for. Listening Turns give us a lived experience of that — a moment where one person receives, and the other offers, with mutual agreement and respect.

In my Reiki work, somatic touch sessions, and consent gatherings, these turns help people:

• regulate their nervous system

• repair attachment patterns gently

• communicate without fear

• feel more connected and grounded

• enter physical contact (like Snuggle Sundays) with more safety and clarity

They are a cornerstone of consent-based community and relational healing.

🍃 Try It This Week

Invite someone you trust:

“Would you like to do 10-minute Listening Turns with me sometime?It’s a consent-based practice inspired by Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent where we take turns being fully heard.”

Most people say yes.Most people are longing for this kind of presence.

And you might be surprised by how much more spacious, grounded, and connected your body feels afterward.